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bloody mess chp.2
chapter 2 "thinking"
i was thinking of jake. the boy i met in the forrest. i just couldn't get his smile out of my head or his baby blue eyes. for once i was actally happy. im never happy. it's a shocker to myself. i change the song on my stero to death to your heart by: blood on the dance floor and i turned it up abit louder.
i went to go eat dinner when my mom had this wired look on her face. i wondered why she had it. even my dad was differnt.
"so ashely why do you seem so happy"
"yes sweety why do you seem so happy"
i din't know what to say or what to do so i just sat down and started to eat my dinner.
after dinner i took a walk back to the forrest. when i got to the spot were i met jake it was empty. so i sat on the stump and waited. a hour passed and i was about to leave when i saw jake by my side.
"how are you"
"im good how about you"
"so would you like to walk to the stream with me"
jake and i were walking and chating about everyt
bloody mess : chp. 1
chapter 1 "cut away"
i was sitting on my bed with the razor in my hand and fresh new cuts on my wrists. my mom didn't know about the cutting or anything in that matter. i really didn't want her to know though. cause i didn't know what her reaction would be or what her mind would think so i just didn't bother telling her. i grab som papertowel and wipe off my razor and clean up around my cuts. i put my bracellets back on and walked out of my room.
walking down the street looking at the ground. people around me stare and smerk. i don't care but sometimes i do. i never do notice them anyway i just try to keep to myself and stay that way.
not thinking about it i walk to the old abonon house on the top of the hill. i walk to the back of the house were the creepy and dark forrest. i started to head into it when i heard something. i looked around but i saw nothing so i kept going.
i was half way into the forrest when i saw a stump in front of me so i sat there and s
why do i feel this way?
is this normal?
or is it bad?
either way i hate it,
i hate feeling this,
what i need to feel,
is pain right now,
pain is always the cure,
it always helps me through,
pain is the answer,
to all my problems,
it helps me stay calm,
i love pain,
it's all i ever knew,
so thank you pain,
for always being there for me,
i love you pain
bloodlust bonus chp. 4 zenx007
and this is what i wished what happened instead of what did happen.....
i looked at my boyfriend and said "we have to stand up for are own sake. we just can't go on like this. when it seems everyone is agenst you. it's time to make a move."
he just kinda stared at me for a few minutes. he didn't say one word. then all of a sudden he got up.
"you know you are right. we do need to stand up for us and all the other like us out there who are going through the same thing we are. we got to believe that we can make a differentice"
school the next day.........
we walked through the halls head up feeling proud.
"what's with the emos"
i turned to all the snobs who were just standing there whispering some things.
"you know what yeah we are emo but we are proud of it. no matter how we look or act we are alll the same. yeah you guys are stuck up bitches and we might not be as perfect as you think you are but aleast we know who we are."
the just stared and walked away
bloodlust : chapter 15
bloodlust chapter 15 (final chapter) "it is time to stand up... i think"
i was in the mood to stand up to those bitches... well i think i was anyway. i was tired and sick of them treating me and my bf like a bag of shit. i was tired of the insults and everything they do and say to us.
"i know but"
we thought about it for aleast 1 hour. we decided not to because we wern't all that ready to. we really wanted to but we just couldn't.
this is the story of my life....
bloodlust : chapter 14
bloodlust chapter 14 "derr"
"that's what i said tho"
"well i thought you said something eles"
"derr, i didn't tho"
after my little eposide with my mother i left to take a walk. the best thing was it was raining so none of the stupid bitches were out. that made my daay shine more darkness into my soul.
"well well isen't that the emo"
"it so is"
"what a loner"
well there goes my day runed. i thought none of that would happen but knowing my luck it did. it's just grr.
i just wanted to say yes im emo and i am proud of it so leave me the hell alone bitch. but i only said that in my head. i just kept on walking farther and farther until i hit the forrest. dark and wet... hmmm my kind of place minis the wet part.
i found a nice log to sit on and pulled out my drawing book. i started to sketch andy six from black veil brides. i dont know why i did but i guess i just had that feeling that i wanted to or that i had to draw him. i sta there for a good 3 hours a
bloodlust : chapter 13
bloodlust chapter 13 "who cares"
alone in my room i cut the pain away. knowing that no ones cares. that it dosent matter to them. what happens if i go to deep? would they notice? or not? i dont know but for now they dont.
writting a song i was thinking about my life. i wrote down so many ideas and thoughts and it finally turned out kinda like this :
(verse 1) ill be the one who understands, youll never be alone, just think for a secound, and dont let hate take over, illl be the one you trust and the one you look for when you need help, whisper in my ear and tell me what is wrong, tell me your nightmares
(chours) in the dark we live, in the light we melt, in the dark we are us and no one eles in dark
(verse 2) never give in always count on yourself, see the moon comeing thro, knowing lies mixed with trust, roses fall angels die no matter what ill hold you ill be there for when you need me the most, whoa... see im there
(chours) in the dark we live, in the light we melt, in the dark
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